The waters flow over that which was hidden
Things protected to protect the world from harm
And you and I are alone in the stillness of night
Closing in all around me like pink satin slippers
Closing in all around my feet after a bath in the bathtub
Or some dandelions blown on a hill overlooking the sea
On a clear cold day when I felt all alone
As though no one could ever hear me
Not anywhere could they hear me and never would
And how I felt so alone
I wanted to find you but I knew not where to look for you
And I felt so alone among everyone else
Long decades I wandered seeking you
Without answer, without hope.  It wasn't Until I was trapped
That I found you like a breath of air on a hot day
I found your photograph among so many others one day
And that was how you found me.  Oh I was lost until then
Now long days spent here are spent sweetly with you
And For That I'm deeply grateful to God
Now the books untold can fill the sea
For you're everything to me
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Little duck waddling down to the water
Fat and happy little duck
You come to the water's edge smiling
Just as you are about to start kicking
A big green alligator with horns on his nose
And big black eyebrows plunges out of the water
It is yelling about nothing and coming for you
What a fright! you scream and run away
You never go that way again
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Humans, some good, and some evil
Many are a mix between the two
All life and harming and a great struggle
Between the high and the low
Between cruelty and kindness
Between science and faith
Between heaven and hell
Between God and nonexistence
Between the original and the oppressor
Between the choices for good and those for bad
Between the struggle to survive and the struggle to give
Between not having enough and giving what you have
Between that which we take in and that which we suffer
Between struggle and satisfaction
Between having a full belly versus seeing the truth
Between the physical and the nonliving
Between the abuser and the abused
Between the baby and that which harms
Between the predator and the prey
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

I was hoeing the earth when the sun rose
It hadn't risen in years
I looked over the horizon without hope
When the sun just started coming up the hill
Like light in a tomb where hope had died
Where the people were just going through the motions
I hope you succeed in your dream
And overcome that which is overcoming you
I hope you take on that which is unconquerable
And I hope you give it a run for its money
I hope you never have to retreat
Just steady going on and on
Hacking your way through the undergrowth
Until you get to the future
I believe in you
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"January"
The meadow expanse in winter
When light is pale and the grass is frozen
When the trees brush dryly against the sky
Like the fingers of the aged and weathered
The struggling earth under the lemon-wan sun
When the hedges are the only green thing
People struggling to stay warm in this time
They wear coats and boots and hurry about
Animals wander around seeking food
But often finding none without help
Inside it's warm
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Jungle"
The hot muggy air
When the gnats are biting
And the leaves of the banana trees are wide
Falling over the white house walls
Where a lazy fan is twirling on a screened porch
There are chickens running in and out of the undergrowth
And the canopy of the trees lets in sunlight softly
Faraway the rush of falling water
Over some rocks and into pools of coolness
Where the fish play in swirls of light
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Sea"
The fruit trees hung heayy with spiky sweet fruit
And the warm smoky waves lapping at the grey beach
Where sailboats are pressed into the land
And there is a path leading through the pink sea roses
There are clean white curtains blowing in the salty wind
And picnic tables covered in cantaloupe and pineapple
I take your hand and we walk down the beach
Into the water where you put your arms around me
And grab my hair and kiss me
A wave knocks us into the sea
We fall underwater and when we come up
We are laughing together
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"The Winter Palace"
The winter palace is surrounded by forests of conifers
Trees spreading out forever in a vast expanse of grave cold
Cold which tests the threads of survival
Cold which anyone would dearly love to come in from
You push the vaulted doors open and enter
There are watchmen against the stone walls
Long red carpets leading you into the feast room
And tapestries hung on every wall
Some portray servants catching wild boar
Or ladies courting knights on horseback
Tables heavy-laden with food
Macaroni and cheese pie, roast beef, mushrooms
Egg custard, watermelon, green beans and dinner rolls
Hot cups of  spiced juice and hot coffee
Women in burgundy silk dresses and royal blue satin
Women with stars hung in their dark hair
Children peeking out from under the tables
Eating drumsticks with sauce on their faces
And pets snuggled up by the fireplace
Where it roars in a magnificent glow
Beautiful couples are dancing to ballroom music
And older women are handing people presents
Wrapped up in gold crepe foil and red velvet
With puppies and baby mice in some
And elegant jewelry and hair combs in others
And purses of money and little trinkets
Down the hall there is a library with books
That take you all over the world from east to west
The pictures in these books tell stories words cannot
And you look in them and get swept away
Servants in the kitchen chopping vegetables
And baking roast beef in heavy gravy
And pouring it over rice pilaf
And children hurrying it out onto the tables
The night above is cold and bright
And the wind sweeps ice crystals all around
They are piling on and on around the door
But happiness comes in times of plenty
When there is a harvest of all good things
Things struggled for and scrounged and saved
And there are places just like this
All over the world
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

I run into you and throw my arms under your armpits
And wrap my face in your long and pretty hair
Like the crashing of a wave when it is happy
Or the slicing of a watermelon in the summer sun
Like the way I feel when you smile at me
And the little ones are both sleeping
Theodore and Ptolemy, This is my heart
Two halves of the most beautiful puzzle
I love you in this life and in the next
I love you like tomorrow
Like substance when its discovered
Or fuel when it is freezing outside
Like rhyme when serendipity allows it
Or freedom to write any song
Like happiness after a long time of sorrow
Or answers when one was afraid
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

You were sleeping like the licked orange kitten
In the drawer of sewing notions by the window
When I found you there was lace on your forehead
The whole world lay out before you
I thought, What little harm to let you go
And run into the future
All your life ahead of you, all of anything for you
I hope you escape your captors free and fast
I'll knit you a little satchel I can carry you around in
You can help me as I go about my daily chores
Daily life means everything to me now
I'm so glad to have you with me
I love you like air and water and light
With Theodore sleeping beside me
He smiles too and the rain falls outside
We may have found happiness
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Thy Will Be Done"
All little hope, when I was tired
And fell down at your feet
All little flowers lying there
At the base of your comforting tree
All little faith when day is done
To crash upon your shores
Tired and frightened I may find rest
And grateful for this grace
I've tried to serve the Lord the best
The best that I can and could
I've done my best and I am tired
I am tired deep inside my heart
Now wondering whether I can further go
I no longer really care
Your heavenly Kingdom I have brought down
I feel I have brought my share
He was stripped and cast lots for
And hung to a sapling tree
They beat him and threw things at him
And Now They are doing that to me
I no more care what life or death can give me
I no more care what I am dealt
The jury passes sentences on what
I could not live without
That take, and so I tried to give
A thing as yet ungiven
I tried and rest in peace
Oh Lord, Thy Will Be Done
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Peace"
That which lies alone and suffering
Is that which feels the most alone
The ones that get kicked around and beaten up
And the ones that get blamed for everything
The children with dirty faces and hands
The ones left holding the bag
How many times I have comforted you
And left you undestroyed
I never will forsake this hope
It's underneath the stair
Like a velvet envelope of promises
All undercut and bruised
I'll take you out and take you up
And see you find something good
I believe in mercy and forgiveness
And that which looks not for help
All hope is crushed the day of death
All memory forgotten
There is no turning back from it
And no one there to comfort
If you could find some help in it
Then you could save the world
It's the choices, the choices we make
That determines beauty from tragedy
Those children which feel casten out
Are those that need to be held
And that which is most forsaken
Is that which most needs a hug
When sorrow is on the faces of all
I'm sorry I was born
All sorrow hangs heavy on my heart
And weariness upon my shoulders
May Peace come in and find you there
May you find peace
May there be an end to the senseless suffering
And the abuse of all people
May there be Peace at last
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"You Became A Child"
You Became A Child One Day
Your Fist Contains a Jeweled Charm
Muddy fist clutching at the little bracelet
That you confidently hold
You pass it into a grownup's hand
And turn and walk away
This Jewel has brought many a grateful joy
Like bells on Christmas Day
You reach up and ask for solitude
And a warm fried meat dinner
I give it to you with a smile
May you have peace here
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Pandora"
Every night at midnight comes a little knock
A little rasping at the door
It's Pandora knocking on her box
The box she's had for years before
When I knock this box will open
He thinks without a fear
And when it opens he comes inside
And warms his hands and ears
Just shelter is a little hope
Enough to carry you
Your hope is waiting in the straw
A love forever true
And when you come home tired and worn
Your little box is waiting
May it be a comfort to you in dark
And may its doors swing open
Though dark and cold beat all about
Oh may you have a home
May Pandora have something all her own
And may it never go
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Angels"
Angels are Gaurdians
They are sent to protect us from harm
And when we suffer, they hold us
They have wings and they wear robes
Virtuous and Loyal they do the right thing
And they are continually serving God
They worship the preciousness of life
And keep us all from harm
God send them to protect us
And sometimes he sends them on missions
Sometimes he sends them to help people
And sometimes one's gaurdian angels are one's companions
Sometimes one's guardian angels just start talking to a person
And they go through life talking with them telepathically
Angels bring light and enlightenment and protection
They give gifts or blessing in the form of virtues or abilities
They are well-meaning and will only attack if
Someone is violating God or the Purposes of God
They are being of the light and they fight demons
Aliens are some of the demons they are fighting
They fight Satan whether he is coming from the earth or the sky
And the aliens are at constant and furious war with them
The aliens call on the powers of hell and the angels call on heaven
They are opposite visitors from another dimension
They have told me that hell is of the fourth dimension
While heaven is of the fifth
My Gaurdian Angel is Ptolemy but there are others
Gabriel lives in the Christmas tree
Uriel lives in the bedroom
Michael lives in the hallway
Azriel lives in the kitchen table
Raphael lives in the living room
Those are my guardian angels right now
They are real angels and they really talk
I feed them grilled cheeses and hamburgers
They are usually starving when I feed them
They don't eat most of the time
Angels talk with their snowy white wings
The positions of their wings tells you what they are thinking
If they use one wing to itch another they are learning something
If they pin their wings tightly to their chest they are suffering
If their wings are hanging down they are doing something noble or kind
If they cover themselves with their wings they are afraid or vulnerable
If their wings are small they are happy
And if their wings are bigger they are sad
If their wings are out they're in a position of war or opposition
And if their wings are wounded they are dying
Angels are beautiful and virtuous
When one is out in public on can see them
The wings of one's fellow people are rising from their backs
Squint and say a prayer next time you look at someone
And you will start to see their wings
You have to imagine them just a little bit at first
"Look to see" and you will see them
Look at something with a hope of seeing truth
And you will learn the truth
Angels are real and they are with everyone
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Healing"
Anyone can be a healer of others
A healer cleans up messes and puts up for later
And soothes with loving touches and holds others
In ways that make them well and loved in their hearts
Loving touch that makes that person heal and find peace
When It feels that they need a hug or they seem lonely
Cleaning up after the person when they make messes
And cooking them meals that are good and fulfilling
Meals that make people want to party because they are happy
Like shrimp creole or chili or toffee or vegetable dip
Cleaning and cooking is a way to heal your family
Also holding and comforting others in one's arms
And saying nice things that make people feel better
And finding things that make people happy and heals them
Things that make them feel better about their accomplishments
And things that soothe the mind of its problems
Anyone can be a healer of others
In Jesus' Name,
 Amen

"The Problem Of Evil"
"Pancakes, Pancakes,
Come and get your Pancakes,"
You are selling pancakes in the yard
You're full of hope and smiling as you call
Everyone to come and enjoy your homemade pancakes
For a moment everything is okay and bright
The sun is shining, the birds are singing
And everything seems to be okay
You turn around and smile at me widely
And I start giving thanks to God who gives so much
But then some mean kids come up to your stand
And they take your pancakes and throw them in the dirt
They kick over your stand and punch you
And they walk sullenly away
They have gotten their reward
You look wide open with the wind knocked out of you
And you stare at them as they leave
Then just as fast you run to my arms crying
With wide vacant tears and open arms
"My Pancakes! My Little pancakes!"
Your tears are confused and without understanding at all
How could they do this terrible thing to you
As you are crying without answer and without hope
I throw my arms around you and I pray
That you never have it happen again
But it probably will happen every time after this
And there is really nothing we can do
For every child who makes pancakes with joy
There are always those who only want to tear it down
I'm holding you in my arms and praying to God
How can you ever survive on your own
They will always throw pancakes in the dirt
That's the way humans are
Today, tomorrow, until the end of time
You just need to be callused enough to take it
You have to begin all over again
And maybe not open the pancake stand anymore
Because It's the nature of evil
It just is, like the moon in the window
The weak get knocked down and knocked out
The strong get stronger and meaner
And you have to be cruel to get ahead
And the good guys always finish last
But still, in your tears I find meaning
Because you are so very beautiful
Maybe your beauty is the meaning of life
In Jesus' Name
Amen

"Something in your tears"
There's something in your tears
That makes me want to go on
Something about your hopelessness
That gives me hope
You went this way so far so long
And you went without an end
No kindness for your little heart
No wavering grass to bend
You stamped through deserts with no one
And there was just no comforter
On and on you kept going
And crashed upon its shores
If you can go this long and far
Then I can do it too
There's strength to be found in going on
And going on with the blues
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Cold Morning"
The Horses clip-clopping
In the fluffy thick snow
And the porridge with a spoonful of honey
And yellow flowers
The warmth of the little heater
And you reading the newspaper
The breakfast bubbling on the stove
And the woman doing dishes
You put on your wooden buttoned coat
And your little grey mittens
And open the door and the cold comes in
And there is a puppy on the floor
The hot tea is waiting by your arm
And the bedroom is dark and soft
A wooden spoon and a jug of milk
And the winter sunlight coming in
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"The Runner"
There was a runner from Greek Marathon
He Ran on and on until he died
He had witnessed something terrible
And he wanted to prevent the end
The Greeks were being invaded by an Army
On the edge of the island's coast
He was delivering this message to the king
On and on he ran without hope
In hopes that someone would hear him there
The earth that turned under his feet
And the feet that answered his prayer
At last, after many days of suffering
He collapsed on the steps of his Master's door
And told him the invasion was occurring from afar
He breathed this message and he died
His wife was in the other room
You can imagine how much she cried
But something led this gentle man
On the path that led him there
The star that held the heaven's sway
Was guiding him to the stair
And when he fell the promised land
And all the people saved
Oh world the runner of marathon
Was loyal and very brave
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

They tell legends about people who get lost
And never return to their homes
Of things done in dark hours of night
That day is affronted to look upon
Of reasons the sun forbears to shine
And people who know they should not exist
Of people who are ghosts in their own flesh
Of thieves stealing parts that are crucial to machinery
And the whole engine halts and dies
Because of these missing pieces
The industry that looms on the horizon
That harms the little villages nearby
The poisons released into the ground
That affect the unsuspecting
The machines that whir and ticker tape and tell
The living what they should be doing
The intelligence of a machine that has been told
What to do by those that have power
What do they know of Christmas Mornings
And Meat Pies and Almond Cookies
And Fruity Waters and Mint Curries
And Little children who will never come into being
The computer knows everything
The computer is a god
But these are villagers and salt of the earth
These are healthy men and women
The poisons that pollute are doing them harm
The information is useless
The cradles that have no silk ribbons overhead
And the men without safe beds to sleep in
The people are being deformed and disfigured
And they have nothing of their dignity
For such a wealth of information
There are meanwhile no dresses to wear
The people are wretched and without children
And there is nothing for them to spare
Suffering, they call it, on the earth
Suffering and poverty and torture
So glad the children remain unborn
I don't want to see them suffer
Men and women without hope
Lying in the street
Sadness on every one still here
And poverty on everyone you meet
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Under The Moon"
Under the moon the white birds scatter
The orchard where I found you working
Picking peaches in your white man's shirt
I watched you quietly without speaking
Until you swore and pricked a thorn
Left hanging in your childlike hand
The women bow to the sun by day
And by night they dance in the light of the moon
The chickens hurry across the henyard
Where they are scratching in the dirt
I found you frowning under the canopy of trees
That shaded your mysterious face
Those eyes so magnetic and big
Watching me intently from the brim of your sunhat
And saw you bend over nimbly and scrawl a message
Carefully on the inside of a peach's skin
Then fold it up and lay it carefully on the ground
And walk silently away
Under the moon the waters of the night are flowing
Adopting the lucid and foreign light from heaven
In the darkness of your humid garden
I find myself a lost creature upon this earth
The Christmas castle hung heavily in sorrow
The pain that although it loved one man above all
It could not protect him from the fate that cursed him
And the pens went softly writing
Inscribing upon things lost and forgotten little words
"I'm sorry I could not do this either...Will attempt again tomorrow"
Written in elegant cursive upon the firm fruit
And tossed into the grass where snakes could eat them
As though talking to someone who was listening
Even though there was no one there to hear him
As though someone from another time
Might pass through the aisles of this same orchard
And look for him there and find it written
the apologies all over the ground
And butterflies rose and fell on the air
And the trees beyond in the gathering gloom
Were huddled together like frightened women
Who couldn't do the washing because they had no shoes
And no little clothes to cover themselves up with
So they shuffled on the dirt roads up and down
Looking equally apologetic in the afternoon sun
And had death himself come walking into the scene
He would have found them all very sorry
But no one cculd do anything about it
I knitted you a crochet top to grace your shoulders
Beige like all the things You always wanted
And When you shuffled up the path
I came down and threw my arms around your neck
Grateful that you were still alive
And though you were far away from me in spirit
I felt you there with me all the same
All lost, though lost, yet we are not lost
All texts are written for the future
All libraries are kept for children to learn
And hopefully someday carry on the torch
And though I cannot understand so much
I look up at the sky with hope
That somewhere, somehow, I may be rescued
By someone who understands the things I do not
With innocence the life lays in danger
With innocence it faces death
No cruelty could be crueler than this is
No coldness could any more take the breath
Like a sneaky wolf the prey is snatched
And bled dry then returned to its place
Hungry hunters in the night
Feed upon this life that hides here
The Christmas chambers cannot defend
That place which lays defenseless
It is the mind  being prayed upon
The mind with its mechanical gears and ticks
The mind that suffers the mind that hurts
Wherein the sneaky foe has seeped in
Past the guarded and lovingly locked door
There is something cruel being done here
Oh where was death when the body needed sleep
Oh where was fatality to him that was tired
Oh why was the candle not gently snuffed out
Why are the innocent suffering so much pain
The doves that scatter look at me
With questions only I can answer
I tell them the thief has been at it again
And that one of my hopes is in peaches
I go into the garden to look for you
Or a sign that you were here
You smell like peaches but then
You also smell of rain and heaven
And the hope that I may be someday free
And the hope that you'll return tomorrow
The orchard holds a rich secret
That is richer than all the Ottoman's Treasures
Oh men in dresses of black velvet
And women cooking pots of cheese
The stars above know your secret
It's blowing in the breeze
The animals that watch the way
In the garden with no escape
Is keeping your secret muffled in it
There is no going without
I'll wait for you again and again
Till My life is aged spent through
Til my body pines away like leather
And I no longer have teeth to smile at you
I hope someday you find me
And carry me quickly away
I'd give anything to escape this
But I will wait till the Judgement Day

In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Love Poem"
I run to you with my little bare feet
And fall into your arms
All my life I looked for you to find you
And you are here with me
Oh love threading the meaning of my life
Oh you little pretty one
I could make the branches bow to me
And the little waves sing my name
But I was still alone in the whole wide world
And when I looked for you I found you
Driving up and down the interstate before dawn
Oh, I was only looking for you
The world rose up againsr you and I
But I couldn't leave you behind
When my heart beat hard in my chest
But I hadn't the strength to rise again
Still yet, I couldn't let you go from me
The horizon to my deepest night
If there is a way out I find It in you
I find it when you're in my arms
You love me still after all these years
I'm so grateful to God for it
No world could rise against my heart
No foreign powers or any kind of army
Life rises and falls and eventually sets
But I will love you for always
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

To bow one's forehead to the ground
And listen for your answer
To spend this life meditating
On how to inherit the kingdom of heaven
If all the little things we do to others
The cruel and the kind
And the in-between things we do
The things we do for ourselves
How do we choose which path to take
When one must choose between two
Which is the right way to take
And I hope there are worlds in heaven
And I hope that all people can Pray to You
And I hope that sinners are forgiven
Most of the time
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

I picked you a basket of flowers
And lay them at your bare muddy feet
I've never seen you so alone
As you seem to be in this moment

We pray to God to be forgiven
But we can do much better
I look out on the rye grass blowing
And feel a faraway emotion

I kissed you in the kitchen
And I bedded you in the bed
I seduced you in the living room
And brushed your long soft hair

Your hair is a mink coat that falls
From your neck onto your shoulders
Pouring, pouring down your back
It finishes itself at your waist

Some gentleness in your dusky hair
Something of quietness and repose
Something of patience and gentleness
And a life spent doing good deeds

In mine the clamor of conflicts
And fiery resolutions
A firmness and a stubbornness
And adherence to Virtue

Together let us lay here together
Under the softness of the blanket
And listen to each other's breath
And the world going on without us

I am feeding a black cat fish bones
A cat with golden eyes and a thin body
It looks at me alertly awaiting response
You cannot tell whether it is a boy or a girl

But in its being is the essence of all Catness
Is that which makes a cat a cat
It understands itself like a sphinx
It is giving me a riddle

I am a clever and plump older woman
And this cat is welcome in my cottage
We make a good pair, Cat and I
And warm ourselves by the fire

As night falls by We watch the earth turn
As it rises over its axis
If there is anything amiss in it
We are going to tell The Lord

The Cat likes it rough in life and hardship
He likes a lot of suffering
I think he likes being hurt or harmed
I do not know why that is so

I look at him and He looks at me
And time goes on and on
I say it is better to be clean and warm
Than to be harmed

But he likes it rough

In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Loss"
What is to become of me, I wonder
When I cannot live on my own
What is to become of my husband
my little sweet homeless Theodore
With not a penny for his dinner to take
With no roof to cover his pretty head
And no clothes to shield his body from the rain
Oh Theodore my worries lie here
Thee that I so dearly and neatly wrote of
The poems fall out through the front door
And rest in puddles on the street
But for thy sweet self, what puddles await thee
And who shall love thee when I am taken away
Oh life that lives to guard her spouse
What can I do now to protect thee
How can I harbor thee from the sun
My darling one, though I cannot give thee
All the things that thee so dearly deserve
Still yet I hold thee, Yet I kiss thee
And no one knows what tomorrow holds
Oh what is to become of he and I
How could there be such cruelty
The rats that scatter across the floor
Are trying to take me away
And where they take me, there will I die
And little Homeless Theodore
Pray for this house, If you will
We seem pent on destruction
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"The Aftermath"
The Wind beat sore down upon our flat
I lay listening all around me silently
The hurried footsteps of people coming in to rob us
And take away all that we had left
I listened in fear but it was a peaceful fear
For I've set my horizons on heaven
It was strange, hearing people talk about you
As if you were a bit of scrap
Not worthy to sit on the ragged furniture
And bartering for your clothes
"She already has a dress" the quick voices utter angrily
And "She must be taken away"
"She is very sick" I was reading Hamlet at the time
There are people coming and going around the fringes
Of my consciousness my very tattered mind
I have become the subject of eyesore gossip
I smile to myself to realize how quiet I have been
In all this clamor enduring
Oh banalities my father has not stooped to yet
And the abrasion of dignity thought to be God-Given
I wondered at all this without understanding
And said a little prayer, and went on reading
Like a rat-infested place
Or the sight of a disaster that had already occurred
Now muttered at and skittering happily across the floor
In the epicenter of the aftermath
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

All Shrouded in mystery your bed lies
The walls are hung in tapestries
With peace you take your sleep
My heart is far away from here
Lost in Christmases from long ago
And travels that took me to distant places
Lost in cities that I used to know
And people who are no longer with me
Lost in people who have recently died
And how my heart is sore and heavy
I seem to remain in the past
While the rest of the world is moving on
I hope to remain forever lost
And nod my head to sleep with resign
There is no room in my heart for another
And so my life seems kind of pointless
Old age they say is much like this
It seems to have found me at 32
Much has gone past and the world is old
Mewing herself to sleep over last night's dinner
If there is hope it is in another
My heart is buried beneath the clay
My love is gone so what care I
If the drifting breeze is drifting away
What care I if hope is dim now
If all the world iis shrouded in dusk
The mist is cold and wet here
Alas there is no sunshine in my heart
I keep the vigil of one who is mourning
The grief of one who has lost much
The earth groans painfully all around me
I hear its sadness and I also feel it
Feel sad for that which has gone by
And that which left me childless
For that which says I am a child
No child am I, but growing older
It is with shame that I hang my head
With shame that I carry onward
An adult child is a thing with no hope
A thing that will never get better
A thing that will never live to taste freedom
And a thing that is headed for death
No rising sun on this sad figure
There is only the promised land
For an adult child the future is dark
There are no lights to light their way
They are being killed in a rigid way
It is death that courts them only
And in the parents that feed on this
Their satiation is the child's undoing
This child can never feel happiness
Instead it must feel pain
There is no disease but the lack of hope
For them the art of sadness
This law should be abolished and
There's death lying heavy in its wake
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"The Hermit's Hut"
The Hermit's Hut was softly shaded
In shadows that graced the brown dirt floor
Silence the key that unlocks this door
And sleeping in the snow
Snows will be lonely without you now
And the fireplace will be without your arms
I am a widow now
The peace that comes in with the morning light
All things are in peace
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

I held your hand at the end of the world
As the world was verging on chaos
The world rose up against you and I
And people opposed us everywhere
I held your hand in mine for just a moment
And it didn't matter if I let you go  forever
The answer's flung out so far and free
In a place it never will be found
The one I love loves me too
In a blind and hopeless way
I loved you here and In eternity
Together here our story will stay
Whatever comes before beneath us
Whatever heaven holds out for
I'll never love again after you
No I truly never want to
Love taken is sweet like candy in winter
It's a thing that you keep in secret
If we are taken apart
Let's hold on to this time forever
The fishes in the sea that beat and swim
Pounding their strong fins in time with the currents
Fighting that which sustains them
But for you and I there will be no fighting
I'll take in the current and sink into the deep
They know about our love you and I
The songs of the birds sing it out
In sad shrieking on the white cold sky
I'm kissing you forever in heaven
Now, Tomorrow, and Always
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

It is not the same world as it used to be
The world is turned for the worse
There's influence from outer space in technology
A lot of the particularly gifted people are being killed
The world is a darker place now
There is suffering in so many ways
In my youth I saw the oncoming of technology
Now it seems to be killing me
There is peace and harmony here
The music and dancing of harmony and joy
The little fishes coursing down the drifts of current
Peacefully and without war they go coursing on
Pulsing with the beat of time they go
Without a purpose without a reason
Without needing to know where they go
Old hermit's hut encroached in shadows
The birds sing sweetly from your rafters
All the preparing of cabbage and beef
The shuffling of pots as I make your dinner
At night we lay under the stars together
And listen to the whirring and humming of humanity
They breach along the northern bay and gather
We watch them in their gathering
The going on of the people at night
And the sleep that comes with the dawn
The hopelessness I feel when I hold you
Like you are never going to be safe in my arms
A night, a night, but what after that
To starve upon some foreign shores
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

If the spirit were a fire in a wary lantern
It goes burning through the solitary night
A creature of the night the sunlight burns me
The starlight bathes my heart in hope
I lay in bed and take in the light of the stars
It falls down upon my forehead like blessed rain
Starlight reminds me that I am not alone in the universe
And that I am not forgotten by worlds far away
I feel safe at night in stillness and peace
There is safety in being away from the sun
You feel it too so let's run together
Running and running into the future
They can do anything, anything, I gasp
And we are helpless to them
This is why the laws were invented
To protect people from having this happen to them
Now I am afraid and now I suffer
Yet I do not feel alone in the universe
Spirits coming and going see me suffer
With eyes that see more than the humans are capable of
And at night the peace comes in with dreams
Daylight brings great suffering
The cruel are my captors my family
I want to hide to get away from them but cannot
I feel fear like I have never felt before
In my heart I know how my little bird felt now
I know why he was so helpless
Parents are monsters that digest their young
They eat their own children
Jealousy and need and boredom motivates them
They make us wish we'd never been born
They lack the fire the ignition, the divine spark
So again and again they prey upon the flesh of their young
They read their minds with a computer and yell at them
Using some sophisticated technology that preys off chemicals
The pills enter our systems and make us able to be changed by them
We are experiments and we are abused
The voice of children who should have children of their own
Crying as they are preyed upon by their parents
Now death seems the thing I crave
Because I can find no other peace
We create delicious hushpuppies to feed the world
And we get tortured for it by our parents and enemies
Tears and fears and no one helps
My friend was taken and probably he is dead now
Anyway I've lost contact with him
If I stop writing it is because I was silenced or killed
This is a story of suffering
Let pain wash over me every day
And let death embrace me
I will not take my own life but hope
That something crueler than me, finally will
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Tortured"
I found a little frightened bird thrown from her nest
And cradled it in my heart
It cheeped and smiled and flapped its wings
As I tried to keep it warm
There are tender little things that need our help
Who puts them into our path when we are walking
I held you in the cup of my hands so warm
I prayed for you to keep breathing
I adopted you as one of my own children
You lived here for about a year and a half
Your wings gained strength and you found a new path
You found it carrying sticks to our nest together
You stretched your wings one day and flew away
It is said that you were killed by cruel men
And that you died in a terrible way that few suffer.
I held you when they were tormenting your body
I held you in my limited and restrained arms
It was a helpless feeling watching you suffer
I felt like a terrible mother and wanted to hold you
In my physical arms but you were taken from me
Now life is lonely and sad and I have to be a baby bird
I am no longer qualified to take care of anyone
The sad thing is that I am so afraid and unhappy now
That death seems a better fit for me
I am so miserable now that you are gone
My life has no purpose and what is more
I am the baby bird that no one wants
Noone wants to help me and I want no help
I am running scared
Oh fishes in the sea when they swim in the deep
Oh saltwater tears trickling from your eyes
I lost the one I loved the most
And now I'm being tormented like he was
Still yet I have my memories
And at night my dreams are so sweet
I drift away to heavens unknown
And the voices they envy my sleeping peace
I awaken with a jolt and they are yelling at me
I have to listen to their voices
This is a cruelty I am not allowed to look away from
I truly wish I was dead now
But unfortunately am not cruel enough to kill myself
So frightened I sit and get preyed upon
Now I am the baby bird, now I am afraid
Now I am the one poked and prodded
Now there is no escape but death for me
And my tears are without hope
I no longer speak to my captors
I am too afraid of them to speak to them
Motivated by fear I feel my soul flinch
Like the heart under the wrath of the surgeon
It is enough to be disabled but what more to be restrained
I do not know what I've done to deserve this
I do not know what crimes I've committed
I wish someone would help me
The surgeon is prodding my trapped spirit
I am the baby bird and I want death now
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

I came to the edge of the sea
And a boat appeared to carry me across

You're holding me in your arms
And I feel like I'm slipping away
I want to be with you forever
But they keep tearing us apart
I wish I could be with you
With you in the world and free
But the world is not with me now
All its cards are stacked against me
I treasure the falling of autumn leaves
I treasure the hair across your back
I treasure the light of God's Presence
Lighting up a dark room before me
His Ways are unfathomable even now
Somehow I cannot bear to do this to myself
Something about a butterfly flying far and free
Something about how a person can struggle so hard
Only to cut themselves off their own feet
I cannot leave this world because it's wrong
And so I come bringing you leaves
Oh God your purposes greater than mine
My love holds me hard in his arms
Keep kicking, keep swimming, I think
I want for him to fly away so far and fast
I refuse to take my own life
Because of the pink fire from a moonstone glow
That which kills shall not kill me
And we will inherit tragedy
Oh home without a home oh homeless one
I know somehow everything will be okay
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

I don't have to tell the things I've told
When I'm being beaten and abused
The truth rings out in every slap
And in every tear I cry
There's nothing left to say now

When all the tears that fill the sea
Have found you where you hide
And all the things that set you free
Have really got you tied
What is a life, a life  to lose
When there is nowhere left to cry
When the path is no more up to you
It is better just to die
To take your breath and put on hold
To let your dreams slip away
There's paradise on the other side
And dark slips into day
When weary, weary without hope
I look up from my sadness
I no longer even want to cope
I've been accused of madness
I'll lose myself in the sands of time
And be reborn tomorrow
This life's all run aground this time
I want to lose my sorrow
These laws are killing little people
They're being forced to die
I'm clinging to my home's poor steeple
They're taking us away from our lives
Someday they will look back on now
But now there's only pain
I smile and let go of my life
Because I am insane
The prophets prayed upon these walls
And wept when curtains fell
They chased them into the pits of dead
And they committed suicide
I'll wait here in  my lonely walls
And go down with a fight
When I am dead the clarion calls
They took away my rights
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

If my love were for you a symphony
It would float out of the windows to you
To where you are struggling with your chores
It would make your step lighter and your day brighter
It would bless everything you do
You would find new strength to face your problems
And you would be somehow okay no matter what comes
When faced with an impossible problem
It would give you the Grace to endure it as long as necessary
What God would scare the little birds
That nest along the rooftop
It breaks my heart but even still
I find I am willing to die for you
When Autumn comes you and I may not be here
But I will never live without you
Like fairies the frost will chill our bones
And we will sleep the sleep of death
These problems were not greater than eternity
These conundrums were not able to blot out heaven
I will sit by the road not begging, but sad
And wait for my end to come
You and I have seen the world in our hearts
We have flown on the wings of the doves
When I choose to be a flailing lunatic
It will be because I love you
I do not fear the possibility of death
My life is well near finished
This raven hair will limply lay for the judgement day
I shant need it to grow any longer
Too cruel the world with me has been
Too long our struggle
May the end come fast and brutal
And may our end come in winter
So that I can freeze to death in your arms
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

The hopelessly deep and powerful sea
And the wild and worrying wind
All my life I wanted someone to hold
And I've found you in my arms
If death comes for me I'll take it in
And thank God for these moments
When I am gone a thousand years hence
The Wild wind will whisper my name
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

When you tiptoe out to the edge of the sea
I will wait for you
Cautiously to frighten the circling birds
I will put down your bed
When you wrinkle your nose because the water is cold
I will be laying down to sleep
When you're up to your ankles in surf
I will be right here
When the current catches you up in its powerful arms
I will smile and boil potatoes
When you look out to the distant horizon to dream
I will take my tea
And in the day and in the night
always I will be here for you
I have been there times before
I don't want to disturb you
I didn't want to see you cry
So I stayed at home
Your white shirt trailing in the wind behind you
 The soft and dappled sea
Oh there are people just like you
All over the world
In Jesus' Name
Amen

"Thanks"
When the lace of the gown of the moon
Falls effortlessly about you
And the frogs in the pond look meditatively out at you
From their lagoons of pleasant scum
When the mothers kneel at the threshing floor
And the fathers sleep when day is done
When the crickets sing and the children run and play
When people accept you for what you are
And when you are loved by those around you
Give thanks to the lord for having the Grace
To thank you for what you've done
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

I was knitting you a soft little blue cap
The kind that fits snugly about your ears
Did you ever see a dandelion
And wonder where your life would take you
It happens when dandelions appear to us
We wonder what will become of us
Where life will lead its dusty path
What fortune will let down its silky trammels
And let her soft hair shine down like luck
Oh beautiful was the creator in all this
When we lose sight of all life's reasons
And get lost effortlessly in one another's sighs
To be grateful just to be alive
Oh weary shore this, when I collapsed on your bed
Exhausted and frightened, to eat your jellybeans
In the cupped palms of my hands
Children grow old they become responsible for themselves
They reach a point when no one will forgive them
When there is no mother and they must be original
It is then that they struggle
How are children supposed to care for one another
They are busy taking care of themselves
Tears and needs and sadness like an ocean
And love's unfailing mark
I wish the laws could see all people as children
That all people could be forgiven
There are so many times you want to give someone a hug
A hug that is gratefully received
When there are tears it is a very serious matter
We are learning how to walk again
Some mystery that children are left to themselves
On an earth that is so forbidding
How to till the soil and build the walls
That lead to our happiness
What law so smooth it could shelter all
What touch could feed the people
What supply could loan a big enough loan
To supply all our needs indefinitely
We may all face years of hard knocks
before we learn to survive on our own
The calamity, if there was any, has silently come
Like a shadow in the night
And now the earth lays struggling under the load
Of too many people and too little money or resources
If we all came together and organized our resources
Into an organized structure it would lessen the shortage
We seem to be doing okay
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

The Prisoners look back with madness foaming in their eyes
The terror and fear of being trapped in a human cage
They are trapped because people are keeping them imprisoned
And no sickness of the physical body is this
This is not a disease but they are victims of human abuse
The bedraggled people life has dealt down
They are just as sorry as they seem, no less
No scuffing up of the shoe can do them much harm
The difference done in one life is a beautiful thing
Send all than you have
You have to realize God probably knows what he's doing
And maybe all you can do is apologize to them
Just apologize to them and be still
They are angrier than they can ever know
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Peace"
It's all part of a great chain of being
All things even out in the end
Some things don't affect us until much later in life
And some things come from a past life
I've seen people I must have wronged in a past life
And I have accepted It
I press yellow chrysanthemums into the snow of their pain
And bow in humble apology to them
All pain gets washed away by the sweeping of time
One agony is repaid
I hope you can accept the things in your life that are bad
And also the things that are good
Fluxuations of the general flow
Like a fabric of that which protects us
Accept those things you cannot change
And apologize to those who harm you
They are remnants of a previous life time
Coming back to collect
When you rest there will be peace
I find it when I'm sleeping
And that which you feel you simply must do
You will get it done
All things flowing in and out of being
May you find peace
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

You looked me in the eyes and said no
I didn't know what to do
All lost there are things we don't understand
And things that are full of holes
People get stuck and people fall through
It's like a great spiderweb
They do what they please and they kill who they will
There is really nothing anyone can do
People die because of this spiderweb
They die because it's poorly constructed
America is tied up in laws that break hearts
The laws are doing so much harm to so many
In a time when no one can step out of line
And the able cannot work and the weak have to
And the poor are beaten down and the rich are so unhappy
Poor people find heaven in meals and warm beds
But the rich and powerful find only nettles under their beds
They are unhappy with what they have
While Chris and I are so happy
To live a simple life is a really great truth
Just to be what you are without any shame
I'd rather be poor than rich
And I always will
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

I went out in the night to sit by the water's edge
Where the moon is white light on the little ripples
The great silver dragon flies on overhead
Ever-present, ever-all-knowing
I'm sorry for the things I said that hurt you
And the way I let my worries upset me
I'm sorry for the things you do not have
And I'm deeply grateful for the things that you do
Thank God for this place
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

When I was young I had so  many dreams
I found my life ill-equipped to find them
I struggled against the laws that restrained me
And suffered under the weight of my curse
All madness this, now that I am mad
And no one comes to call upon my weary shore
Those friends that were are gone away now
The unfought war has torn and defaced their hearts
And I know they are my enemies and I pray to God
May peace come in here and life go on
I love you like air and water and light
I feel like my life has been answered
And when my task of caring for you is done
I can lay in the dirt and die peacefully
I only want to provide for you
And hold you in my arms at night
I come to love you more and more with time
Thank you God
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

There are seeds of things that could be fed
And watered by the rain
They're lying around in plain places
Where the furniture is bare and shaggy
And the kettle boils water all day and all night
And the man of the house has a weak little smile
To feed children, that is what I want to do
With this life that lays out before me like a dream
His shoes need shodding and his feet need washing
He jumps when he's call and that is enough for me
There's no greater purpose for me to enjoy
Than when I provide for my little boy
He smiles up at me with the happiest smile
I am deeply grateful to God
In Jesus' Name
 Amen

Little Home
Oh little home how nice it is
To sit and warm my hands
The fireplace burning soft and still
I'm grateful to be alive
And thanking God for what we have
And grateful as can be
I sing the songs of the birds on the wing
And the fish in the pools of the sea
The song of things that seek shelter
And find it without having trouble
The song of the man who is returned to me
Night after unfailing night
If these things are taken away from me
Then I should surely die
But while they're here I'm enjoying them
With a joy that makes me sigh
Don't trouble creatures who are content
Don't make them feel unhappy
Don't tell the bee not to build things
Or the clovers not to make honey
Don't hurt nor harm the flying thing
Nor the willow that stands by the shore
Don't trouble the road that stretches on
Don't trouble them any more
The world is ready to creep out anew
And start her busy morning
Don't tell her that she is not what she is
She sings because It's morning
The Earth is home and that is why
Your trespass is forbidden
All hunting and changing is not allowed
Satan, get thee hence
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

If I could be a bird in your hair
Or a fairy at your candle
Or the wind when you're traveling away from me
Or the cuff of your tattered sleeve
If I could follow you to where you go
I'd follow close behind you
I'd seek where you do the dishwashing
And watch you like a nocturnal animal
My eyes would see the place where your clothes
Are torn and worn and faded
The place where the groove has been worn in
To the soft daily task of your habits
When I brush your hair I feel a tingle
That follows me to my toes
It makes me feel alive and real
Like purpose in all my woes
I want to follow you like the fish
That follows its mother to sea
Or the baby that cries for mother to hold
When the throes of madness are encircling me
All little hay and little bonnets
are lain out just for you
And on the table where you rest your hands
The gathering sunlit dew
Some butter and jelly to help you take
The daily bread of your spirit
And may your feet find steady pace
When you are traveling onward
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Love Poem"
Arms stretched out he walked gracefully ahead
Balancing the rims of natural forces in his fingertips
Gently paused, turned around to face me
And smiled the biggest smile and said,
"To north and south, to west and east,
All of this is yours
To the lands hovering off the sunset coast
This is yours
To the sun and to the moon
To the waters in the bay
To the shoppers shuffling with their goods
And the horses in the hay
To the people hiding from shadows on the walls
To the markets where they sell food
To the children who look for new ideas
And the black lace of the gown of the moon
To the stones hiding in their crevices
And the greens poking out from the clay
To the furry and the slithery and yet unborn
To the flowers at close of day
To me when I turn and throw you blossoms
Of a cherry which died in the Spring
To the North, The South, The East, The West,
All of these are yours"
Then he turned again and jumped the plank
He dove into the sea
He then emerged a shining woman
With breasts like apples
He gave me a bit of money
And asked me to give him some food
I was too enchanted to be frustrated
And I quickly obeyed
His skin was shining like the the light
Of the soft cold skin of a whale
I brought him little things to soothe himself
He lay in a happy reverie
All woman this you are, I said,
All divine and lovely
All skin the pushing past of which
Your spirit lingering
Oh strange love oh strange fate this
The body of a man I cannot see
He comes to me in the breath of the wind
Or the soft gentle foam of the sea
Oh kiss her lips and stroke her brow
Oh fairest fairy creature
Though courage was your golden light
And I was your lover
Now pretty, pretty, I lay you down
With tenderest kisses
Until you find another coast
You can dive in my Ocean
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

The world is a beautiful place
And life is still worth living
Come out and play the usual way
I know your heart's been broken
I hope you find yourself something new
And learn a new thing
You just need a little something to move ahead
Something to push you forward
I know you have a broken heart
And I feel I have failed you
Oh please Won't you get up again

Why do birds sing in the morning light
And little fish get born in the spring
Why do clouds float like marshmallows in pudding
And summer so lush and Glowing
Why do people string up their laundry
And bakers bake croissants for customers
Why do we hold on to that which is dear to us
And why are the planets spinning around
Why the rivers flow to the sea eventually
And the sun is forever shining
Why chickens take such good care of their babies
And people cry when the hero dies
Why it is so impossibly sad when people give up
Especially the good ones
Why the world falls asleep when it is sad
Like a chastised kitten mewing in her sleep
Why suffering ebbs and finds its horizon
Why we keep going
There is an impetus and a cause primal and basic
We simply must continue on
All hopelessness and sadness gives way to light
And God knows we need a little
He was afraid and he didn't want to be alone
All compassion seemed to fail me
I wished you would smile at me
And I wish you would wake up
Still, yet, here faithful I wait for thee
The love of my life
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

You were beautiful like a little fish struggling to get by
I felt afraid myself
I didn't know much of anything
But I knew that I loved you
He's sleeping in the hay
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"All lost"
All lost, all lost, and cannot be found
Oh World thrown chaotically from her sphere
And put down to sleep like the lamb who has been crying
And all things losing their form
This song needed a beginning in a time when all was lost
When everyone nodded their heads in sad peaceful sleep
Oh Wake, Oh Wake, Gentle Morning
Oh Wake With the happiness and hope of dawn
For life is still worth living
In spite of the suffering that is so long
And when I watch you cry I find a peace there
Lord knows you could not cry much harder
You are leading the world in a beautiful dance
Pray you lead us forward a little
So we will not end but seek a new beginning
For sleep is on the lids of all I see around
It is in love that the world lays sleeping
And in being lost that all things are eventually found
I think about roads beyond this one
I have no idea where they lead
Thank God for the little home that I rest my head in
It satisfies my heart and it satisfies my mind
I used to want to wander the wide earth forever
On and on and never end
My life is smaller than I can understand
And there is significance in it
Oh world do not sleep but wake and smile
Wake and smile for there's anywhere to go
All morning beams for thee anywhere you look
And morning comes with anywhere to go
All lost I could not bear to lose you
And holding you to me gently in the fray
I hope the World finds some peace
And that, though lost, we are not lost
All lost were are not lost
And that life finds itself still yet worth living
For the Lord God knows is
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Let it Come"
When death finds me I will already be at peace
Because My stone has been set down well
Don't weep for me but continue the faith
And shine a light that will bring the dawn
Riding on fierce and beautiful horses towards the future
I live to nourish the little living thing
That struggles and nests here within
He is a soft and furry little creature
He just wants to live and be comfortable
The Grace of my life is watching him feel good
And the pain is watching him suffer
The greatest hell would be to have nothing to give him
And death would be soon to follow
Death comes, but in the end of life
My works are shining triumphant
The battles fought with shadows are not unsung
And children peek to read my works
I love a man more than life itself
And hope to be with him in eternity forever
He was the happiness in my life
And the answer to my seeking
No question but that death will find me
At the time we are separated
Let It Come
In Jesus; Name,
Amen

"The Best Medicine"
The Best Medicine For Compassion Is A Little Mouse
Preferably One With Spots
Soft little animals are some of the sweetest
Oh hear it with your ears!
They sniff and poke their little noses
You can build them little homes
The Best Medicine For Compassion Is A Little Mouse
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

There are homeless people all over the street
If we pick up a handful and serve them beer and cheeseburgers
They are wandering around all over the place
Asking for a party
Food is the shortest distance between two hearts
Food and shelter
If someone clothes and shelters me I am grateful
Thank you
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"The Wind Storm"
The Wind Storm Was Anger
Anger Pouring Forth From The Divine
It had become Upset But Humans
We just needed to her it roar
We just needed to listen

"Darkness Answers Prayers"
When you are afraid at night
Just Peek out of the Covers
Darkness understands when you pray to it
It relents when we are afraid
Mercy sees when things are a bit too hard
You peer out of your safety and watch it
Watching silently with wide eyes
Not knowing whether to be afraid
Just look at the thing that is hurting you quietly
In a quiet and thoughtful way
It helps to say a little prayer
I believe that that darkness will leave you alone
Maybe not at first but eventually
Just peek out of the covers
Darkness answers prayers
Just listen and wait and be still
I believe this action will save the world
It wants to be heard when it is roaring
All noise is just a storm
It will ebb and fade with the passing of time
And say a little prayer
It hears just like we do
Just listen to it going on
Just peek out of the covers
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

A Soft Place To Rest The Head
When All Is Weary and Torn
Soft body wash to wash the feet
When one has been suffering
Someone to hold you in loving arms
When you have been crying alone
Some flowers and candles to cheer you up
When you feel disheartened
People who go to doctors come home sick
And suffering leads us to the kingdom of heaven
After long hours of abrasion let there be peace
An end to all the suffering
Let light appear where there was none
And all things snuggly warm
Let there be mashed potatoes with butter
And corn and cheese soup
Let you fill your little belly
And never feel afraid
When you are scared the heavens shake
And little children know the price you pay
Oh suffering has peace at close of day
In this you can rely
No darkness so dark without an end
One day your suffering becomes a banquet
Oh live, little one, Oh live
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Terror"
At times when there is no hope
And no answer all around
You must pray to the source with all your heart
Pray hard and pray long
Pray for as long as it takes
But don't give up what's left of life
Your hope will come at a later time
I've been so stuck I couldn't get out
I lay still and listened
Listened to the soft sounds all around me
Listened to the people coming and going
To leaves rustling in the wind
To the slanting of the sun and the darkness therein
And the hopelessness of the stillness was a wonderful thing
You lay still and quietly wait
The answer will eventually come
If you wait long enough God will forgive you
And someday long way from now
when you feel better about your life
You'll find yourself in a hurry to get there
And you won't be afraid then
You'll smile about it one day
And there won't be any terror
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

I have fought great battles to sustain you
Lord knows I have earned my hero stripes
I am brave and I have suffered for you
Long enough to know death would be better
Now death my final battle I will face it
I will die because I love you more than life
Because I've got treasures untold in heaven
I hope I find to strength to lay down my life
I know I lack the strength to live without you
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"To Theodore"
I will die if we are separated
I will die of sadness
I know this and I am certain
That My life is not worth suffering
Without you I will die

Oh, The times I wanted to hold you
In this love that will never die
Like a soft flower blowing in the wind
Your destiny is unknown and uncertain
Your death could come at any time
By cruelty or a careless sleight
But I will always love you
Forever I will be fighting for your safety
Snarling at anyone who tries to hurt you
I've seen you through so much torture and pain
The powerful few and the ones who claim you
I will love you forever and you are beautiful
The way you fly in the wind
Not caring what chance may lead you to
You and I may have nowhere to go
And soon no soft  bed to rest our heads on
Oh how I longed for a place to rest my head
My father's cruelty will be the death of us
His refusal to let us live together
But I would rather die than live without you
And I would sooner kill him than be his physical victim
I face being relentlessly raped in different ways
For the rest of my life
You have nowhere to go and never will
Nowhere to rest your head
I plan to starve myself to death
Or linger on with you until I die
Oh cruel world was to cruel for our romance
So that we will soon have to die
We want More than life to be together
We don't want to die
But we would rather die than be apart
We should run away
But we have nowhere to go
Trapped in the United States of Greed
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Diseases Are Science Experiments
The Drugs make us sick
The doctors decide when we die
They kill us when we don't expect it
They use deadly drugs to euthanize us all
That is how most people die
Cancer is a lie and an experiment
Diabetes is a lie and an experiment
They are doing a lot of experimentation on humans
Don't go to the doctor
All Medicines are poisons
They are purely harmful
Eat well and sleep well to stay healthy
Bathe and nourish your spirit and be happy
But doctors are deadly
The reason they are so calm is because
They know they themselves will never die of these things
They decide which experiments to do on which people when
Hence the drug names
The drug names give clues about what the drugs do
Often it isn't just the drugs
There is constant surveillance everywhere
We are never alone
The government is watching us all at all times
The computer is a Martian
And Martians are the epitome of evil
To go to a doctor is to accept death
The drugs are poisons
The homeless are blackballed by the system
People who are powerful are dangerous to their enemies
They kill their enemies and they have a lot of enemies
They know what everyone is doing
Thinking
Saying
Thoughtcrime is very real
They are reading everyone's minds
It isn't safe to go outside because of aliens
Aliens are involved with the government control
They are acting as the computer's personality and decisions
The computer is alien technology
They kill people with knowledge like this
They are watching people's thoughts
The government and the aliens
People are reading each other's minds and communicating telepathically
People are being forced to commit suicide
The doctors and the government are all working together
Intervening into people's lives to effect change
They send individuals and events and laws to cause change
These people do what they are told
The celebrities and famous people are above the law
There are rich and powerful and famous people who are aove the law
They get away with whatever they want
They break laws and do whatever they want to each other
And it never gets charged as a crime
Meanwhile the police are throwing the law book at ordinary citizens
for doing minor things like not paying a sales tax
Or signing a check with insufficient funds
Some people are tortured for things like that
While many murderers get off free
The police are corrupt
Illegal drugs are advertised on television as being healthy
But they are not healthy
Torture is common
People are being tortured telepathically in their own homes
Laws are incongruent and people are slipping through the cracks
Because of all the gaping loopholes
People are being forced to become homeless for innocent reasons
Like telling ugly truths and standing up for the weaker ones
Aliens are flying around the sky and interacting with everyday citizens
And the citizens are just interacting without knowing what to do
Going to the doctor may be a death sentence
Hospitals are where people go to do
At night in hospitals they turn the temperature down to below freezing
Most hospital patients freeze to death
Others die of horrible experiments
Doctors are killing people in their own homes
If you get sick just get through it
People's children are getting sick now
I think my husband's children are in danger or being killed by the system
Due to Chris's interactions and circumstances with the system
It's starting to look like one big ugly coherent system
I'm going to be killed eventually by the system
When we went to mars it was really stupid
Because the martians are probably going to invade us now
They will probably destroy the human race
Doctors are deadly and cancer is a lie
Don't go to them stay safe

The thing that kicks you, the thing that hurts you
Is pain in all its many forms
The needle in the vein, or the flaws you have
The people that harm you, in any way they do it
The pain you feel when feeling you're not good enough
The feeling that you will never achieve success in life
The thing that wears you down or holds you down
That which imprisons you or tells you what to do
Pain is evil and there is so much opportunity to feel pain
We die and return to the source and all that pain is recompensed
Everything we suffered in this life is returned to us manifold in the next
Although the nature of being of the Source is not confined to one religion
There are infinite faiths and thought constructions by which to attain it
It can be attained through prayer or virtuous acts
Through hardship and suffering
Death should be avoided as long as possible
But when we get there we are going to be compensated for it all
Wherever we return to is a better place than this
When I get there I don't believe I will miss the suffering of life
I wake up sadly because I have to pick up where I left off
Dreams at night are where I find my inner peace
This life is a struggle and pain seems neverending
Sometimes I cannot fathom the reasons for all the suffering
One would assume that one deserves it, but why do they deserve it?
It seems unwarranted that babies are born without mothers
And people lose everything they ever had without committing a crime
And dreams are squashed like tomatoes under the boots of the law
And medicines are numbing the parts of us that were God-Given
Maybe I'm crazy, but I've seen a lot of suffering in me and around me
And I don't feel the suffering was justified
We were taught to forgive and not judge one another
I probably will not live much longer
Because my life was denied by the law
And in being cut short I don't see how it can last
Those that did it to me were being cruel
And I feel betrayed by that which I held on to for so long
I tried so hard to do my best and when it fell through
I couldn't continue and I look forward to death
not to dying, but to being dead itself, I look forward to it
I will be then in a better place
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Loved Ones"
His eyes crinkle with warmth when he smiles
I remember the past with sadness
Sadness that I caused so much pain
And sorrow that I didn't do better
There are bridges burned that cannot be recovered
And there are loved ones left behind
In the just-burned rubble of a small ruined village
I will never see them again
And in fact I cannot remember their names
It's all a blur that I mostly regret
A few stand out against this landscape
With love and memory like storybooks
Neatly placed end on end gathering dust
Chad, Elisha, Jason, Kevin, Zhanna, Theodore, Ptolemy...
They do not want to be found
I do not want them to be found
Little Treasures gently and lovingly packed up in boxes
That I call memories
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Like a small laughing Child
Holding The Hand Of an Elderly Person
And Showing Them Around The Break Room,
He Brings Joy To My Heart

"Happy"
He's Courage When Its Raining
And Strength When I'm weary
When The Wrath of the Lord is too heavy on me
He is my crutch and my only friend
He knows all my secrets eagerly
Even the ones I don't know
And he loves me and hates me
Warmly and without being afraid
Neither of us are afraid right now
It's really kind of interesting
The way we see our life with anything
But fear.  There is very little fear
And yet we are deeply terrified
I think he's more afraid than I am
In a way I'm older than him
He acts like a very small child
He acts to be about twelve years old
He laughs so much I feel like an old person
And in a way I feel more relationship to
Innanimate objects and trees and stones
To things that have no course of action to do
They just sit there, passive.  Whatever storms come
I will surely weather them all
I do not feel lost in life
Someone loves me two people
Theodore and Ptolemy
They are my best friends
And I will love them for always
I'm happy here with them
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

I hold onto you as long as possible
Hoping to lengthen the time out
Knowing that at any time it can be taken
Taken away by the long arm of force
The laws are like venomous snakes
Whose talking heads harass me all day
Spitting words they know will hurt me
Watching me dully with the dumb eyes of a hunter
That doesn't think I am worth hunting
Lucky Me.  I listen thoughtfully
To the sounds above the padded casings
Of the imaginary prison where we are detained
At length I started talking with my only friend
Although we had parted ways he said,
"We couldn't be apart even if we fought with weapons"
It was the most intelligent thing he'd said all day
He also said I deserved it.  I hated him for it bitterly
Talk continued some long rambling hours
Me and Ptolemy have been together so long
We could really do anything and not be ashamed
We also cannot be apart.  I was always a nervous person
Missing you was for so long a cross that I pray
Sometimes I wish the love I bear for you would lessen
I keep looking for an escape latch some tool to use
Today I found something useful, sharing objects and artifacts
Using telepathic images Me and Ptolemy compared notes
We find it useful to share our feelings it's all there is
And thank God we don't fight because if we fought
Then our heaven would become a hell.  We like each other
God gives me insight into things because I pray to Him
And in the insight I partake with my friend
And he with me.  It is a lonely life
I enjoy solitude
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Evil"
It comes in many forms
Coming from the sky
And through people around us
Like a dark cloud over that which shines
Attempting to conceal that which is happy and bright
To put out a light
I believe it is dark matter in science
Putting out energy
I think it occurs here and everywhere else
That it concentrates in places
Like nodes on a spider web It shifts and changes
And often works together
That God is in control
And won't let it get out of control
It comes in many forms
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

He was wild like fruits in the winter
Like berries in the thorny desert
He was a happy answer when all said no
A smile in a room of frowns
He kindled her spirit like a little fire
And when she was weak he held her
Over time he leaned on her too
He was troubled over many things
Like whether he was a man or not
And whether he was kind or cruel
He was beautiful and generous
And shared his bounty with her
She loved him dearly and when he moved on
She kept going because he didn't wound her
He could have cut deep gouges into her heart
But he left her with a gentle kiss
Coming back often like a hungry little sparrow
To nibble crumbs upon her porch stoop
Of all things wild and joyful he was best
And no darkness could therein penetrate
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Oh heaven unending
Long nights spent journeying to thee
That heaven unseen by mortal eyes
And forbidden to leave
The prisoner that waits alone
Day after unceasing day
Wakes tired of life and sleeps
She is not forgotten by heaven
She is not forgotten when his ears are ringing
With laughter and taunts that she cannot escape
All cruelty is for her a water to swim in
There is no penetrating it above nor below
The stars sing out above her
And the soft blanket under her is for her a heaven
Oh world outside her door
Oh world that she will never get to see
Long writing notes and passing them down in bottles
They are picked up by the most special people
She tells them of the spaceships filled with the dead
Are flying by and overhead
How they hunt down mortals and make them prey
And are hunting her even now
Yet another word and yet another
They are seeping into the cracks under the door
And trapped they may prey on her unawares
Like acid or like disease
But there is hope in the stars above
And the world all around her
She may not leave her home
But she is still a beautiful part of it all
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

The Savior is a friend of mine
And counsel in my struggles
I hide here under his banana leaf umbrella
I like it very much
I think Jesus protects this flat
I think he protects everyone
We should do what he says and obey him
And we should also pray to Him
His teachings came from far away
From a Time Out Of Time
They Came from the place that light comes from
His Words come from eternity
They are real yesterday and today and tomorrow
And in a million tomorrows the will be as true
I pray to him when confronted by evil
I see things and speak to things and it makes me pray
Still, wonderfully, he's always there for me
He comforts me in my solitude
I think that Mars will leave us alone
So that his Words May Spring Eternal
If they come for us then Angels will protect us
I don't think it is a task for mortals
The divine that's speaking through a woman
Is a friend of Jesus
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

I saw, but in seeing was cut down
In fear that I might tell the truth
I hide here in this lonely flat
The windows shut tight to keep out the sun
And pray for those that haunt me here
The ghosts and visitors of another dimension
Seeking peace and solace to my pain
I find myself alone with just one comforter
Troubled by the spirits and gods
The angels and demons and martians
Martians are demons that come from the sky
And they seem to be the only current threat
I hide from them more like a prisoner
Unfree to walk the streets and hills
Imprisoned in this tomblike flat
I feel that nothing can help me
So very strong and very brave
I am considered a child
But childhood is my solitude
And I am so bored
I never want to have speak again
I use a few words as possible
And in my fears the evil transcends
They bring on the apocalypse
If I can help to plant a seed
Or give a little shade
Then birds will feel safe to nest in me
And the little boy may find comfort
To be treelike is one meaning of life
They have mastered the art of kindness
And in their being they do rest
The plants are the kindest of mortals
Oh world unceasing there my heart
And there let me rest with my planet
The Earth longtime has comforted me
This little home is my universe
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

"Defenseless"
To listen, quietly, to the falling down
Of little raindrops all around
And further on, the crashing sea
And in the darkness coming down
The Earth is breathing in the hope
Of going on  undisturbed
That evil may not rain from the sky
And pelt the rivers with hell and despair
That here in its safe ferny bosom, may rest
The children of billions of years
That in this thicket we may find peace
And in the darkness the wandering east
On and on to find the source
That rivers flow and where they course
The gouges cut are forming paths
Like maps the twinkling stars at night
Oh pray for the earth on its silent nights
That Evil Hence from thee be leaving
Oh devil coming from the sky
Why do you kill the creeping thing
And cause the souls to commit suicide
And drug the people into death
Oh evil coming from the sky
Oh back into your hellish chasm
Twere not from below but from above
And how the Earth is charred beneath it
Oh world beyond oh stay beyond
Oh evil lurking in the darkness
There's heaven here and heaven is home
Dispell yourselves and be gone forever
Our world lays helpless like a fawn
Without a God to watch over us
Oh Lord protect the trembling earth
Dispell the Martians and be gone forever
Send them scattering for they are evil
In fact may be the very heart of evil
All defenseless the earth lays still
There is no one to protect it
In Jesus' Name,
Amen